Saturday, 11 August 2012
Hello there, I'm Will and urm... *Buzz, hesitation*. Good evening, today, that bit at the beginning has literally no relevance to whatever I'll say today. Today I came home, home to Folkestone, for a night, then on to my real home until I have to leave again (due to social reasons, not me not being unable to pay the rent and being forced out). 7 hours on a train with hardly any leg room at all, a toddler who kept score of the time left on the train, "5 hours, 32 minutes left on the train...5 hours, 31 minutes left on the train, 5 ho-", you get the idea. What I'm trying to say there is to all the people living under a dictatorial regime, I know how you feel, but do you know how I feel? After the long and pretty boring train journey home, I was greeted by my nan, brought up to speed on all the gossip and then it was off to the fish and chip shop for dinner....Bad idea. Seemingly good, but as we got closer, there was a queue, not a fun queue, but a long, boring one (no idea when a queue can be fun). 10th in line, behind two 'Proper lads' and infront of a guy telling another guy about martial arts. 9th in line and the 'Proper lads' have begun talking, they are telling eachother where they could get what they are ordering for much cheaper, the martial arts guy and guru are talking just about 'Sparring', whatever that is. 8th in line, a woman asks us for our order and the 'Proper lads' + martial arts guy and guru look at myself and my grandad with such hunger that if the queue was maybe a couple of places longer, they might have considered eating us. 7th in line, the two 'Proper lads' are now talking about sunburn and how it hurts so much, "Maybe you should have put suncream on you stupid stupid people", I think to myself, if I had said that outloud, I would definately have gone home with a battered suassage. 6th in line, the martial arts guru who is in sunglasses is talking about how he trained in Thailand and how "They are so vicious over there, you know when you've been beaten out there", no smart comment in my head there, incase he can read my thoughts and that battered suassage becomes a broken whatsit (you really thought I would say a rude word on here?!?). 5th in line, the two 'Proper lads' or 'Hardcore chavs' as I've now dubbed them are spitting, I don't like people who spit, when I say I don't like, I mean I don't like but I tollerate anyway because society lets it happen, I would happily throw them in a special jail full of other spitters and people who talk too loudly on their mobile phones. 4th in line, the 'proper chav lads' have gone because "The queue is way too big bruva", the line is not too big, 'Bruva', your ego is. 3rd in line, I stand awkwardly half in the door, half outside as a man walks out the door with just a portion of chips, dedicated chip fan. 2nd in line and I can smell the food, see it through the glass cabinet and I hear beind me from the martial arts guru, "And his arm just broke in 3 places from a bad fall". 1st in line, I am no longer hungry.